The second round of feedback has started to come in. Although the story does have more depth, by rearranging events that unfolded (and by writing this story in increments of time on weekends or evenings) my timeline is not concrete and a bit hazy. The main suggestion: create a plot line and work from there.
Thinking about it, I may even want to sit and rewrite my whole story. I mean, now that I know exactly how I want it to unfold, I can give it a rebirth by starting from the beginning. I know, I know: will it ever end? The answer is yes.
Another suggestion from a fellow writer: This time let a professional read it – meaning a literary professional. That’s when it (meaning my amateur feedback and editing) will end. Therefore, after this final round of edits, I will begin to share with pros. But for now, back to the drawing board.